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What makes a fair and virtuous maiden?

The answer some men might give would be virginity, presenting a word that awakens the feminist in Chinese women: the virgin complex. Those with the complex consider a girl’s virginity to be the one trait that defines her character: innocence, past and future. A medieval notion perhaps, but there are men who consciously or unconsciously emphasize the correlation between virginity and love, responsibility, and virtue. There’s a long history behind the emphasis on virginity for Chinese women, one that exists today and one some women are all too happy to accept.

However, for centuries, sex was the key to longevity and health in Taoist mysticism. Under this belief, it’s key for a woman’s yin to fuse with a man’s yang—two forces that must be kept in balance. In the book Sexual Life in Ancient China, Dutch sinologist Robert Hans van Gulik emphasized that, to ancient Chinese, sexual activity was a part of the natural order and every man and woman’s divine responsibility. Although confined to private life, Gulik contended that this was because of its seriousness rather than shamefulness, similar to ancestral worship being a private family matter. Divorcees and widows could often remarry before the 12th Century, Gulik surmised. It was only after the establishment of the Confucian moral system that a divorce or a widow remarrying was seen as shameful.

But, ever since the Zhou Dynasty (1046 B.C.E.-256 B.C.E.), among the ruling class, virginity for a maiden was considered vital and a criteria for the in-laws to consider before consenting to a marriage. A matchmaker needed to investigate many things, including a maiden’s virginity, before joining two houses. However, it was more out of concern for the legitimacy of future offspring rather than morality. In the face of true love, virginity didn’t seem to be a big issue either. One of the most praised romances in Chinese history happened in the early days of the Han Dynasty (206 B.C.E.-220 C.E.) when the famous poet Sima Xiangru (司马相如) fell in love with and married the beautiful widow Zhuo Wenjun (卓文君) with no concern for her sexual history. However, things changed when Confucian morals were strictly exercised in later dynasties, when a woman’s virtue was considered more important than her life. There was even a common folk practice to confirm the deflowering on the wedding night; a white piece of fabric would be laid on the newlyweds’ bed, and only when it was stained with the bride’s blood the next morning would it prove her virginity. A Yuan Dynasty (1206-1368) poem recorded one man’s disappointment: “Spring has gone for awhile; there’s no point in asking if it’s crimson or light red. Blank, blank came back the white kerchief.”]

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